We’ve all been there—you have high hopes for collaboration, efficiency, and project success…and then it happens: a bad attitude sends your plan off track. Nothing crushes team morale faster.
While jerks come in all shapes and sizes, there are three particularly insidious brands that toe the line between normal coworker and a$$hole. HR may not take issue with their style, but teammates certainly do. If you find yourself questioning what camp a coworker falls into, or if you find yourself questioning whether you’ve crossed into the realm of jerk, I compiled a quick guide for recognizing the three types I’ve seen most often (and some advice for getting in check).
Aggressive or Assertive?
It isn't by coincidence this is listed first. While it can be subjective to determine if you’re being aggressive rather than assertive, there are three major inputs to help determine where you land:
- Tone
- Body language
- Presentation
If you find yourself raising your voice (or even slamming objects) in stressful situations, you’re failing at all three. Maybe you care passionately about the topic, maybe you're frustrated, but if your actions are making your coworkers uncomfortable, you’re not achieving a better outcome.
Being assertive means maintaining a professional tone, assuming a confident but calm demeanor, and articulating your ideas with clarity. You’ll get better results and your coworkers won’t hate working with you.
Complainer or Collaborator?
Work is stressful. There's too much to do, there's not enough time in the day, and in between meetings you may have mulled over the possibility of cloning yourself. It’s reasonable to raise issues and gaps in project plans, lack of resourcing, lack of technology, or lack of engagement. However, if you are simply raising these issues and not offering solutions, you are part of the problem.
Empower yourself to offer creative solutions, engage with your colleagues on how to realign, and spend more time brainstorming steps to mitigate your own problems rather than simply escalating them.
A Won't Do'er or a Will Do'er?
At a previous job, I recall a newly hired manager who had been asked to do a "low level" task for their team and let everyone know loudly that this was not their job. I would say this was a case of ego clouding their judgement and, not surprisingly, with this “won’t do” attitude the individual was let go.
I’m not advocating job slip, but if from time to time you need to cover low level tasks or tackle issues that are below your pay grade, it won't kill you. And it may very well curry favor with your team. Go ahead and show off how things are done with your skill and experience. You may have created some goodwill and teaching moments for them in the process. Remember that even CEOs tie their own shoes.
Now for the trite phrase, this isn’t rocket science. It’s a combination of common sense and a professional attitude. That said, it's surprising how many talented individuals can get sucked into a vortex of negativity which has the potential to spread like wildfire into a toxic sub-culture. Don’t let this happen to you or your team. Don’t be a jerk, check yourself at the office door, and continue driving yourself, your team, and your business forward.
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